Nights before christmas

This is the period before christmas and it's kinda weird for me, spending it without my family and the normal traditions and foods that I so love.

The big familly dinner and exchange of presents will have as a substitute, something incertain. It's something that has been a part of my life in the last 6months, uncertantly, more that ever in my life and it is kinda creeping me out.

I don't know how to mesure it nor how to cope with all of it, I gess I've been just ignoring the problem so far until this point. It has been the most weird 6months in my life, doing something that was kinda in my wildest plans, but never thinking of doing it. Sometimes I still wake up and think, did I really moved to this new strange country with all its traditions and people?

A lot of times I fell frustrated, I wake up thinking, why do I am really doing in here? Is this experience helping me? Am I doing anything relevant? What's the point of all of this hours? All of this investment of my side or my parents in this? Is it going to be helpfull in the future?

Other days I fell with an energy that I identify myself with, when I fell that I'm capable of doing whatever and have the strength to face the world by myself to achieve something. Those days seem to come less and less in the past months, but my personality keeps on pushing thougth those clouds of incertenty of selfdoubt and stupidity. Today is a good day to be a perfect day, i hope :P

The Gift - Primavera

Gnus

that leading guy over there is completly astonished by the way that things torn out to be in this place. So cold so dirty, his place in the food chain is increasely being lowered and lowered.. The place of the lettuces is becoming a threat for him.

He's being conored by that big spotted tiger. that carnivorous knows the exact moves to make his heart skip a beat. Going in front is always his duty and being the first to face adversity also is. So with his chin up high he starts the race...

O quinto Império

Triste de quem vive em casa,

Contente com o seu lar,

Sem que um sonho, no erguer de asa,

Faça até mais rubra a brasa

Da lareira a abandonar!

Triste de quem é feliz!

Vive porque a vida dura.

Nada na alma lhe diz

Mais que a lição da raiz-

Ter por vida a sepultura.

Eras sobre eras se somem

No tempo que em eras vem.

Ser descontente é ser homem.

Que as forças cegas se domem

Pela visão que a alma tem!

E assim, passados os quatro

Tempos do ser que sonhou,

A terra será theatro

Do dia claro, que no atro

Da erma noite começou.

Grecia, Roma, Cristandade,

Europa- os quatro se vão

Para onde vae toda edade.

Quem vem viver a verdade

Que morreu Dom Sebastião?

Working the mines

How can one start the project for a new mine, when it feels that the mine where he's working right now it's staring to collapse? Almost all his miners working there don't give a damm about the structure and all those pillar that they've been working on.. You feel that support is being taking out of the stupid hole in the ground.

The top of the mine is ready to collapse, will you just stand there and watch it fall? It's really unpleasant to say the least. When will one get sick of saying "I told you so..", "You should put more effort into it"? Sometimes, you just have to let one part of the mine collapse so that you can save the whole structure. But the biggest question in my mind is.. Which to pick?

This geologist needs to racionalise the crude facts in front of his mind and plan the solution as he learned, in spite of everything that his heart says. Get out of the way, the scientist is in the HOUSE!

Rowing

Is it worth it when your are the only one rowing against the tide? Everyone has just given up and you are the last one with enough strength to.... ohhh f*ck them! Just KICK THEM AWAKE and put them at your side, rowing with you and defeat the stupid embrace of that blueish sickening tide!

But... why Care? Why do I care so much? Always the same old battle inside my tired, stubborn mind... Would it be so easy if I didn't cared, if it didn't affect me so much. How can I create a shell to protect myself from caring so much? She certenly does not care enough to talk with me or solve anything with you.

So what should I do? Just ignore? How do you do THAT?? I gess that button didn't came with this package, when I was born.

State: In need of a ignore button in my mind... while in that I could really use a think of yourself button too.

Turtule

Tartaruguita, nasceste com essa armadura nas costas. Fez sempre parte desse ti, todos os santos dias na tua vida. Esses dias que passaste a nadar de um lado a outro em correntes mais ou menos geladas sempre impregnenadas com esse sódio que se evadia da tua pele rija. 

Aprendeste a desenvencilhar-te sozinha, fugir aos predadores desde que saiste do monte de areia onde a tua mãe te depositou. Durante muitos anos navegaste sozinha ao sabor da vontade, ansiando por algo mais. 

No final da tua adolescência compreendeste o quão bom é ter alguem para partilhar, para dar e para confiar os mais puros desejos e impuros prazeres. 

A tua carapaça forte foi-se diluindo tanto era o sal dos que te rodeavam que acabaste por perde-la algures pelo caminho. Disseste-me uma dessas noites passeando pelo meio de nenhures que te orgulhavas por tantas vezes bateres com a cabeça na parede do teu aquário, porque não te orgulhas agora?

Sei o que queres, o que precisas, lamento que não o possas ter. No entanto, ficar nesse aquário sozinha o resto do tempo não te vai ajudar e não vai melhorar as coisas. Vai gritar, chorar, berrar, vai! Encontra novamente a corrente que te levava para onde queres ir. Se as outras tratarugas quiserem ir contigo irão, senão encontrarás outras no caminho.

Foca as algas que em ti se entranham e não naquelas que te oferecem mais obstáculos à tua passagem.

Corindo

is a crystalline form of aluminium oxide (Al₂O₃) with traces of iron, titanium and chromium. It is one of the naturally clear transparent materials, but can have different colors when impurities are present.


Transparent specimens are used as gems, called ruby if red and padmaraga if pink-orange. All other colors are called sapphire. Because of corundum's hardness (pure corundum is defined to have 9.0 Mohs), it can scratch almost every other mineral. In addition to its hardness, corundum is unusual for its density of 4.02 g/cm³, which is very high for a transparent mineral composed of the low atomic mass elements aluminium and oxygen

Corundum occurs as a mineral in mica schist, gneiss, and some marbles in Metamorphic terranes. It also occurs in low silica igneous syenite and nepheline syenite intrusives. Other occurrences are as masses adjacent to ultramafic intrusives, associated with lamprophyre dikes and as large crystals in pegmatites.  It commonly occurs as a detrital mineral in stream and beach sands because of its hardness and resistance to weathering.

Berilo

Puro cristal, tantas impurezas que tu tens aos meus olhos. Essas que te tornavam belo e colorido. Tanto trabalhei, lutei e aprendi contigo. Tantas esperanças que depositava em ti desde o inicio. Bastou uma parva brincadeira para conseguires deixar-me de pé a atrás contigo, questionar tudo o que fiz contigo e o que te disse.

Piada parva que conseguiste criar com a tua mente, essa mente que anteriormente tinha em grande consideração. Conseguiste com isso levar a minha própria mente a questionar-se sobre a capacidade que eu tenho de perdoar e esqueçer traições.

Nunca esperei encontrar-me nesta situação contigo caro cristal, tão aberto e tão verdadeiro brilhavas aos meus olhos, neste momento é torna-se dificil olhar-te e falar-te como se fosse um dia qualquer. Sinto-me traído por ti caro amigo, consigo deixar qualquer um entrar no meu cículo de confiança, no entanto é bastante difícil para mim depois de alguém perder a liberdade de estar nesse círculo, voltar a ganha-la.

Sei que foi algo parvo, no entanto, não o é visto no meu coração como tal.

Granito

Ó belo e majestoso batólito feito de magma arrefecendo lentamente ao longo de tantos milhares de anos. É tal é a paciência que tiveste para conseguir adoptar esta forma que te invejo profundamente essa capacidade todos os santos dias.

Forte, pesada, agarrada à terra como não outro. Tu és um verdadeiro exemplo de preserverança. No entanto, o tempo deixa a sua marca, apareces perante mim, como essas tantas diaclases que metes dó! Como pudeste transformar-te nesta bela monstruosidade que se arrasta pelos montes, deixando cair pedaços erodidos de ti no último inverno? Cada ano que passa pareces-te menos contigo e mais como as pequenas areias que toda a gente dispoe nos seus jardins a imitar praias cheias no verão de toalhas coloridas.

Algumas dessas diaclases encontram-se agora preenchidas, verifico agora ao olhar mais atentamente, mas sabes tão bem quanto eu que com o janeiro que se aproxima isso vai ser tudo levado pelas águas que irão sair dos teus olhos. Tão agarrado ao chão te encontrava, vejo-te agora ao lado de um precepicio pronto para cair a qualquer momento sem nada para te apoiar ou te segurar.

Tenho medo por ti, alma solitária no meio desse monte, preso dentro da tua mente. Entre a caída e a solidão, qual irás escolher? Eu escolho certamente sentar-me aí ao teu lado e chorar a tua triste sina, tentando magicar um milagre para ti.

Skunk Anansie - My Love Will Fall

Roads

So many roads before my eyes. Choosing the right one, It's really a tricky question at this point in time. It makes me wonder if I really wanted to come this way, and now with no more time I find my self stuck in this dirt road. I know that no matter road I pick, I'll get hurt, dirty and tired. So, which ought I pick?

Simple paths can set lifes in the most different ways. How can one chose so lightly, the whole future of so many lifes? How can one be trusted that decision? What if that one picks the wrong one?

Can others opinion help at this time? Or is too late to even care about this stupid, odly picking? You've never been a sucker for philosophic enquires. Why do you keep yourself in this stupid state of mind? So many missed calls you have in this mind-mobilephone that you have up your head. Why do you keep insisting in blocking everyone in?

Just choose the damm road! I'm here to help you! :P

Greek temples

Some times I can't help by feeling really in touch with this famous ruins of past times. Having so many columns to support its weight, grounding them in the same place. It's a weird sensation, knowing all the supposed support that you see and feel, but somehow, they are not in the place that they need to be.

At the sight of this old pillars of my life, all the memories, i get frozen inside, and all those old memories are trying to get out and make me feel anything, bad and good try to leak out.. Those are the stuffs that I'm made off. So fast rushing into things that I am, that I haven't realized the position that I was putting myself into.

In this little chapter of my life, I can smell the nasty odor of fear in those cold infuriating look that I find in every single mirror. But what do you fear the most? Is it the work? Studies? Disappointments? Of course not. Is it the loosing? Loosing your friends to other cities, right?

Road end

In the end of the road you're only able to see that white, troubling, scary light coming from that person that is trying to get to you.. 

But do you feel that thingy is worth you leaving that comfortable place that you find yourself in? Does that makes you risk a little bit? You've never confused with someone who is afraid of risks, but god! Oh are they wrong! You're so petrified of that stupid new light emerging from those clouds, penetrating further and further into your hole of a life.

These clouds trapped in my mind are not helping you decide if this is worth it. Should you leave that chair, and try to meet you half way? It makes my bones shiver, your announced return, amazing stupid bright light called hope.

Skye - Feel Good inc.

aaaa

waiting for the train

So much has happened since the last time that i've witten something here... I decided to step in and fufil a
long last desire, that had been burried deep inside my mind for a year now.. I've been chosen, but at what a cost? I realised that the same people that I admire, didn't really trust in my ability to handle things or my seriousness in the application.. It was quite a blow...

Despite all those wrong images of myself that those people i continue as confident, and every more confident by the day. Such a stream of ideas that flow from my mind constantly... sometimes it's hurting me. I will improve both, myself and the organisation that i've been chosen to lead.

My vision is trully different from past liders, I'm trully a coach, since forever, I've been a facilitator a developer. My purpose is not getting into numbers, but into people... not the robots.

I new culture will be born! Don't really care about others preceptions, just my own.

Sitting, hoping, writting, reading, and waiting for the train to come

Skunk Anansie - Because of You

Misto de Sensações

act

Ontem foi a manifestação da "Geração à rasca", e como quase todas as manifestações nos últimos tempos sinto-me dividido.

Concordando com muitas das razões que levaram aquelas pessoas à rua e a expressar-se publicamente, outras sendo apenas dignas de serem ignoradas completamente pela minha mente pela estupidez que as aglomera num discurso pouco coerente.

Orgulhei-me dos portugueses, independentemente das razões que os levaram à rua, venceram a apatia e defenderam um ponto de vista, que para mim é digno de respeito acima de tudo.

Por outro lado a quantidade de demagogia, sim demagogia e eu simplesmente detesto usar esta palavra associada a discursos sem sabor e sem conteúdo. Dizia eu, a quantidade de demagogia foi avassaladora e tenho medo de cada vez mais as pessoas serem levadas por aquilo que elas querem ouvir e se chegue a um ponto onde todas as instituições democráticas são deixadas no descrédito como acontece em muitos outros países.

De qualquer das maneiras, foi mais uma excelente mostra do poder que as pessoas individuais têm se o quiserem usar. :D

"There are no Utopias"

kent - 747